So… what exactly does a doula do?
You’ve probably heard the word but wondered what it means. A doula isn’t medical. It’s emotional and practical support, right when you need it most.
Great, but how does that look in real life?
Think of it as having someone who knows the terrain, even if every path is different. A doula doesn’t replace your midwife or partner, they’re the calm in the room, the extra pair of hands, the one who helps you breathe when things feel messy or overwhelming.
It’s not about rules or checklists. It’s about feeling held, heard and a little more human in the middle of it all.
Let’s chat about doula do’s and dont’s
doulas do
Offer emotional, practical and continuous support that adapts to you
Create a calm, steady presence alongside your partner and care team
Listen without judgment and helps you feel more confident in your choices
doulas don’t
Take over from your midwife or doctor. They’ll always lead on medical care.
Tell you what to do or make decisions for you. Your voice always comes first.
Follow a script. Your birth should unfold in a way that feels right for you.
Curious to see how this kind of support could fit into your own story?
a little note from me...
When people ask what I do as a doula, the truth is it changes every time. Sometimes it’s a hand to squeeze, sometimes it’s a reminder to eat, and sometimes it’s simply being the person who says “you’re doing brilliantly”.
Curious minds always on board
No two journeys are the same, but some questions always pop up along the way...
-
Not at all. Your midwife or doctor is there to take care of the medical side of things. I’m there to take care of you. Think of me as the calm, familiar face who stays by your side through it all, offering reassurance, comfort, and that steady presence you can lean on, while your clinical team handles the medical care
-
100% yes. In fact, I often hear partners say afterwards that they felt more involved, not less. I’m not there to take over, I’m there to support both of you. Sometimes that looks like giving them confidence with comfort techniques, sometimes it’s a quiet reminder of what you’d planned, and sometimes it’s simply holding the space so they can be fully present with you. You’ll be a team, and I’ll be right there cheering you on together.
-
For many families, it’s the difference between feeling like you’re just “getting through” birth and feeling genuinely supported every step of the way. Yes, research shows doulas can reduce interventions and help labour feel shorter but most people remember how it felt: calmer, less overwhelming, more connected. It’s about having someone who knows your wishes, has your back, and never leaves your side.
-
Not at all. Every birth is different, even if you’ve done it before. Sometimes families book me for their second, third, or fourth baby because they want things to feel calmer this time, or because their partner would love a bit of extra support too. A doula isn’t just for “first-timers”, it’s for anyone who wants to feel held, heard, and supported through their own unique journey.
Why having a doula matters…
Birth isn’t just about getting through the contractions, it’s about how you feel while it’s happening, and how you carry that feeling afterwards. A doula brings calm, confidence, and continuity into a moment that can otherwise feel unpredictable, making the whole experience steadier, safer, and more supported.
Someone in your corner. The voice that says “you’re doing amazing” when you doubt yourself.
Calm in the chaos. A steady presence when labour feels overwhelming or the early days get messy.
Support that flexes. Sometimes it’s practical, sometimes emotional, always shaped around what you need.
Support for both of you
A doula doesn’t take your partner’s place. They’re there to ease the pressure, offer gentle guidance when it’s needed, and help the two of you feel connected through it all.
This isn’t about replacing anyone. It’s about making sure the whole crew feels steady on the journey.
Notes from families just like yours…
Jen, I truly love your positivity and excitement about pregnancy and especially breastfeeding. Knowing you have four kids and have been breastfeeding for over five years fills me with admiration, as I know it's not easy. This shows how generous and loving you are as a mother and person, even though we've just met. You are curious and like-minded, and I hope we can stay in touch and continue sharing our doula journeys.
